Having frequent fights with your spouse might seem normal to you, but it’s not something that you should accept as part of your relationship. Because while it’s true that every couple argues from time to time, if you and your spouse constantly fight, it can put a serious strain on your relationship, negatively impacting the love and respect you have for each other and leading to resentment and frustration instead of closeness and understanding. But there are ways to stop fighting with your spouse so that you can start enjoying peaceful relationships together again. Here are six tips that can help you do just that: 1.
1) Listen
One of the biggest reasons that couples fight is because they are not listening to each other. Instead, both parties have built up a list of grievances and have formulated arguments that they feel like expressing. But most of these arguments stem from miscommunication, which could be easily fixed if you simply listened to your partner’s point of view. If you’re looking for ways to stop fighting with your spouse, then start by listening!
2) Focus on What You Are Not Doing
If you’re spending time worrying about what your spouse is doing, that time is time wasted. Focus on yourself and improve things in your own life. A lot of people make the mistake of thinking that their spouse must change before they can improve their marriage. But remember, no matter how much you change, if your spouse isn’t doing anything different then nothing will really improve. So don’t waste any more energy on what he or she should be doing differently. Instead, focus all your energy on changing yourself and learning how to stop fighting in a marriage.
3) Understand What Triggers Anger or Irritation
There are certain issues that make you angrier than others. Figure out what makes you angry and find a way to communicate your feelings in a calm manner. Learn how to express your anger before it builds up into anger or frustration. Remember, never attack, intimidate or use physical violence against another person; there is no excuse for domestic violence. This behavior can seriously damage your relationship and destroy all of your hard work on making it better. Once you identify what triggers irritation, keep notes on these things so they can be avoided in the future.
4) Consider Trying New Activities Together
Take up a hobby that you both can enjoy as a couple. It doesn’t have to be expensive—it could even be free! Simply engaging in new and different activities can help keep your marriage fresh and exciting. Plus, by getting involved in a new activity together, you have an opportunity to focus on each other rather than on work or other day-to-day stressors. This will strengthen your bond over time. If no hobbies immediately come to mind, take turns suggesting some new ones every few months until you find something that appeals to both of you.
5) Don’t Let Money be the Root of Conflict
Money is a common source of disagreements between couples, and it can be easy for one partner’s overspending or financial irresponsibility to cause conflict. To avoid money being a source of tension in your marriage, don’t keep bank accounts separate and always have open communication about money. Make sure you don’t take on additional debt without consulting your spouse—debt only creates more problems down the road. If there are existing credit card balances that belong to just one partner, work together to pay them off as quickly as possible. If all else fails, seek outside help—many credit counselors offer special counseling services geared toward married couples who are struggling financially.
What Are You Holding Back?
6) Look at Life as Something Happening to Both of You
When couples fight, they tend to focus on how their actions impact them individually. It’s easy to forget that you’re a team—that every decision and action affects both of you. Instead of considering your own needs and wants alone, try seeing things from your partner’s perspective. Think about what might make him or her happy, too. That way, instead of pointing fingers at each other, you can work together to find solutions that benefit both people. If it seems like arguing is inevitable for your relationship, consider seeking out marriage counseling before it gets out of hand.
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