If you like him, and you want him to chase you (and not lose interest) once he gets to know you, there are some things you can do to make sure that happens. Here are ten things you can do that will make him chase you and keep your relationship fun and exciting!
1) Flirt and avoid
Flirting and a good first date is important because it sets you up for later. Avoid being too available; make him work for it a little bit. When he texts, don’t answer right away. Wait 2-3 hours (and if he’s waiting that long, he really wants to talk to you). This will drive him crazy and force him to chase you. It’s time-consuming but totally worth it in the end!
2) Don’t give all your attention
One of the easiest ways to make a man feel comfortable is by letting him know that he has your full attention. Men are simple creatures—they want what they can’t have, and if he feels like he can walk all over you then he won’t be as interested in you. To prevent him from taking advantage of your vulnerability, only give part of your attention and let him know that there are some things that you keep off limits—even if you don’t mean it.
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3) Give hints of interest
Even if you’re not ready for an official relationship, teasing and flirting with a man can definitely make him chase. And don’t be afraid to play hard-to-get; it will make him work that much harder for your attention. Giving subtle hints of interest, in other words, can go a long way toward encouraging a guy you like to chase after you. The most obvious method is to start wearing more flattering clothes that accentuate your best features. If he doesn’t take notice, then tease him a little bit—but give yourself enough distance that he still has to follow some breadcrumbs on his own to catch up with you. Ultimately, however, you want to encourage his pursuit by making yourself attractive without putting up too many walls or being overly flirtatious.
4) Create mystery
Don’t give away all your secrets at once. You want a man to be curious about you, and that starts with revealing just enough so he wants more. (Have you heard of curiosity gap theory?) Even if you do have something like a past relationship on your mind, don’t bring it up right away; let him ask. If someone hasn’t reached out in three days, send them a simple text: Just thinking about you. What are you up to? If they ignore or dismiss it, back off—you obviously made your interest too obvious and s/he wasn’t interested in getting closer (yet). But if they respond and say nothing much, how are you? or ask what you were thinking about them, keep going—that means there was some reciprocation there!
5) Give him some space, then pursue
Men love challenges and they really like a woman who is hard to get, says David Bennett, president of Double Trust Dating. Bennett recommends playing hard-to-get by waiting a day or two before calling him back if he doesn’t call you after your first date. Also, don’t answer his calls or texts immediately if he does reach out; it makes you seem desperate, which can be unattractive.
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6) Express regret or confusion when you don’t hear from him
The biggest mistake you can make is ghosting him (not responding to his texts). Don’t worry, men are not offended when you don’t hear from them for a few days—they understand that real life gets in the way sometimes. However, if you express your regret for not hearing from him at first and then later wait several days again with no word, he will start questioning whether or not you are interested in continuing contact. The best thing to do is just send a text saying, Hey! I wanted to check in and see how things were going. Are you available tomorrow night? If there has been any silence on his end, be prepared for some radio silence; but still, try to communicate every now and then so he doesn’t get discouraged.
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7) Try not to have too much fun without him around
When a man realizes that you have a lot of fun without him, he will go out of his way to spend time with you. Men love women who are independent and enjoy their own company. Enjoy your time apart and try not to pout when he goes out with his friends. Instead, use your free time productively by meeting new people and learning new things! During those rare times when you guys aren’t together: If you’re single and having fun on a first date, it can be easy to believe that nothing could be more perfect than hanging out with someone new (and attractive). But for most men, spending too much time getting to know someone exclusively right off the bat is a pretty big turnoff.
8) Let him find his way back into your life
It’s very hard for a man to chase you if he can’t find you. Don’t answer his calls or texts right away, let him think about it. If he tries calling a few times, have your voicemail recording ready; just don’t pick up and let him hear your voice recording saying that you aren’t available right now but you will call back as soon as possible. Whatever you do, DO NOT give in too easily! The more time passes between your last communication with him and when he finally gets a hold of you (if he does at all), then more likely than not, he’ll be chasing after you.
9) Don’t give in too easily
The first move isn’t always best. If you call or text him too quickly, he may think you’re too available, or that you have nothing better to do than chase after him. Give it some time—at least a few days—before following up with him. If he reaches out again after a few days (or even weeks), don’t immediately respond; let him work for it a little! When we know something is in short supply, we want it more. This applies not only to people but also to experiences and situations. The harder we have to work for something, oftentimes, the more rewarding and satisfying it is when we achieve our goal. And don’t forget: Guys can be just as neurotic as women about love!
10) Play hard to get (but be yourself)!
Don’t be afraid to let your guy know how great he is and how much you’re interested in him. But don’t be desperate about it. Play hard to get by keeping your man guessing, sending him texts that make him laugh or smile—you can even send a few sexy pics (but don’t overdo it). When you keep his attention, he won’t feel as inclined to go chasing other women.
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