10 ways to find the right partner

 

Finding the right partner can be challenging, especially when you’re actively looking. In order to be sure you’re spending your time wisely, make sure you’re following these ten tips when it comes to finding the right partner. Follow these guidelines and you’ll be on your way to finding the one in no time at all!

1) Know your motives

When it comes to dating, some people date casually while others are looking for a serious relationship. If you know what your motive is in pursuing someone romantically, then you’ll be more likely to attract a person who shares your goal. For example, if you want marriage and children eventually but don’t feel that way about a particular person you’re dating, then there will be no point in getting seriously involved.

2) Know what you want

It’s easy to get caught up in a whirlwind romance and lose track of what it is you’re actually looking for. It can be hard at first, but it’s important to be clear about what you want and need in a relationship, both short-term and long-term. If you know what you want (and don’t want), that will give your relationship a head start on success. I took some time just by myself so I could really think about my expectations and wants out of a relationship. I knew I wanted someone who accepted me as I am, not someone who was trying to change me into something else entirely. And I knew ultimately all I wanted was companionship – someone to spend time with, go places with, hang out with – whatever life had thrown at us we would tackle together as best we could.

3) Eliminate dead-end options

If you’re looking for a wife or husband, your options are pretty clear-cut. But if you’re looking for a long-term business partner, your best bet is to approach it in much the same way. Use common sense and eliminate options that aren’t a good fit.

4) Don’t be picky

When you’re looking for a new partner, it’s easy to get hung up on specific details. They might have a great personality, but their hair is wrong; they might be very attractive, but not into your favorite hobby. Try not to get so hung up on specifics—you want someone who likes you and has a lot in common with you, not someone who fits all of your lists.

5) Work on yourself

When you’re looking for a long-term partner, it’s easy to fall into what relationship expert Esther Perel calls the sexy son preference. You can imagine a hot person being your soul mate, but that person is likely not going to want someone who has let themselves go physically and emotionally. In other words, don’t wait for Mr./Ms. Right—take care of yourself now and be attractive from within as well as without. The reality is there are a lot of potential partners out there; if one doesn’t work out, so be it—let them move on in their search too.

6) Go out more often

You can’t really force love, or at least not a successful relationship. If you want to improve your chances of finding someone great, one of the best things you can do is get out there and meet people. Get involved in community activities like sports teams, classes, clubs and hobbies—whatever it is that gets you interacting with people on a regular basis. Being more social will expand your circle of potential partners, allowing you more opportunities for love (or lust).

7) Be more social online

These days, it can be easy to feel left out if you don’t have any social-media accounts. Sites like Facebook and Twitter make connecting with friends and family easy, even if you’re not near them geographically. It also makes online dating a viable option for finding that special someone—or at least a date! The internet brings together people who would never otherwise meet in real life; if you’re open to expanding your social network, using sites like these could help take your love life from courtship to marriage.

8) Maintain a positive outlook on love and relationships

Maintain a positive outlook and remember that love is worth waiting for. There’s no need to rush things or push your new relationship forward if it isn’t progressing at a rate you think it should. Be patient, give your relationship room to grow, and never lose hope. You may want a marriage proposal yesterday, but if it doesn’t come tomorrow that doesn’t mean there won’t be one next week!

9) Try joining dating sites/apps if you haven’t yet

You’re going to hear a lot of opinions about how long is appropriate to wait before getting married or entering into a serious, exclusive relationship. The truth is that there are no rules and every couple should do what feels right for them—no one else. However, if you aren’t in a position to marry (financially, mentally, socially), it may be wise to hold off until you are.

10) Leave space for the relationship to grow organically

In order for a relationship to have a chance at long-term success, it has to grow organically, leaving space for both partners’ personalities and interests to evolve naturally over time. While it can be tempting (especially in our age of swiping left and swiping right) to give yourself an expiration date for finding the one, that’s often not realistic—or healthy.