The loss of a love relationship can be one of the most painful experiences in life. It’s normal to experience feelings of heartbreak, loneliness, and anxiety after a break up—even if you were the one who ended the relationship or if your partner broke up with you. These feelings may last for weeks, months, or even years after your break up, but eventually they will subside, especially if you know how to cope with a break up properly. Here are 10 ways to deal with a break up so that you can heal and move on with your life.
1) Take a walk
Walking is one of the most effective ways to cope with heartbreak. Take an hour and go for a long stroll outside. Clear your head, and leave negative thoughts behind you. You’ll feel better, even if it doesn’t seem like it at first. If possible, spend some time in nature; walk through a park or along the beach, or sit in a coffee shop and take in all of your surroundings. The key here is distraction—just focus on being out in nature instead of trying to control other parts of your life or get answers about why things didn’t work out with someone else.
2) Cry if you must
Emotions run high after breakups, and crying can be cathartic. If you’re still reeling from your heartbreak, go ahead and cry—it’s OK! One study found that people who cried when they were feeling distressed had lower levels of pain than those who didn’t let it out. So if needed, feel free to crack open a box of tissues or have a good sob by yourself. However, do try not to spend too much time wallowing; a new relationship is right around the corner.
3) Talk about it
This might seem obvious, but it’s worth noting that talking about what happened can help you better understand your feelings and emotions, and can help you cope. Try opening up about what happened, whether it’s to friends or family or just by journaling—it could be therapeutic for you in many ways. It also helps validate your experience—even if your friends don’t understand what you are going through, they may have dealt with something similar at some point in their lives.
4) Don’t listen to sad songs
If you’re feeling sad, it might be tempting to listen to sad songs or watch some sappy movies. While getting lost in your emotions can feel cathartic, it can also drag you deeper into depression. Be conscious of how your actions influence your mood and overall wellbeing. Even if you don’t have access to your ex, remember that they are not responsible for how you feel. You are in control of yourself—don’t relinquish that power so easily!
5) Let go of the past
You need to accept that your lost lover is no longer part of your life. You can’t change what happened and dwelling on it only makes you want him or her more. Acceptance will help make you feel better, which will in turn help you move on. Try writing down everything that comes to mind when you think about your past relationship. Once it’s out of your head, let it go and start a new chapter in your life.
6) Remember your ex is not who you want him/her to be.
If you’re going through a breakup, it can be easy to lose sight of your partner’s faults and focus on how much you miss him or her. The truth is, though, that it wasn’t just that one quality you fell in love with — your ex had many other traits that eventually caused you to break up. Remembering these qualities can help reduce feelings of anger or disappointment over time and provide clarity during those first few days after the breakup.
7) Find friends that can help you through this time
It can be difficult to deal with a break up when you’re spending time by yourself. Try joining some clubs or going out more often so that you can find friends who can support you in your time of need. The more people who know what’s going on, and are there for you, can only help boost your spirits during such trying times.
8) Move on
The best thing you can do for yourself after a break up is to get back into a normal routine as soon as possible. This might sound like crazy advice, but it’s actually scientifically backed: Our brains are hardwired for distraction, and so it’s easier for us to move on from bad memories when we have something else to focus on.
9) Expose yourself in new places, meet new people, find love again...or at least have fun!
10) Give yourself time
This may be hard, but give yourself time to deal with your break up. Take space and have time for yourself so you can come to terms with what’s happened. Don’t let anybody rush you into getting back together, especially if it’s not meant to be; take everything at your own pace.10 ways to find the right partner
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